Early 2008
Mello felt romantic attraction first. And it started at That Launch Event Thing.
Matt’s giving him a tour and while he’s listening to Matt, Mello notices how much he missed this. Not only having an intellectual peer and a friend but Matt. His voice, his little stims when he talks, the overflowing excitement when he overshares, his little chuckles inbetween sentences, his stupid ass jokes he cracks like he had them prepared and studied for years but Mello knows he makes them up on the fly. Matt feels very much like home that evening. He finally has someone to talk to again and hell - he’s cute.
I think Mello knows from the very beginning he starts to fall in love with Matt but is hardcore in denial about it and/or tries to talk himself out of it. “No no no we’re not doing this. I have my feelings under control. I’m just a little overworked, a little overexcited because we haven’t seen each other in a while and there’s much to talk. This will pass. I’m not falling. No. I’m not even gay, so. No.” And every time they meet and he sees Matt, it feels like the ground is gone for a second and he has to grin like an idiot, his palms get sweaty, face turns red.
Mello also starts noticing things about Matt - how big his hands are, how broad his shoulders have gotten, how beautifully red his hair looks like against the sun, he’s following the trail of freckles on every bit of exposed skin and starts wondering how it looks beneath those shorts, are there freckles everywhere…?, have his eyes always been this green…?, holy shit is he strong - I wonder if I can make him pick me up again…
Once they start hanging out again, Mello can’t get enough of Matt. He’s so desperate for connection, it feels ridiculous. Once Matt’s out the door and on the way home, Mello impulsively reaches for his phone to check if there’s a message from Matt, maybe to ask if he can stay over, maybe he forgot something.
Mello is finding any reasonable excuse to touch Matt. Hugs for greetings, hugs for saying goodbye; and the hugs are always a little tighter and longer than usual. Pats on the back, ruffling his hair, bro fists at the tiniest win, …
Maybe he has his moment of truth when they’re chilling somewhere and Mello gets lost in looking at Matt, flooded by an overwhelming craving to hold his hand, stroke his hair, lay his arm around him, kiss him, what would happen if he just did all those things, would Matt freak out, would Matt requite, what if he just leaned in, what if Matt said piss off you creep, what if the gang knew he made a move on a guy, what if —- and Mello panics to how close he is to (in his head) ruining his life and how he’s almost unable to hold back anymore. He gets up abruptly “I gotta go” “Huh? Everything okay?” “It’s uh…” doesn’t even finish the sentence and is out the door. He runs, doesn’t even matter where, just away. Away from Matt, away from his feelings, away from himself. He’s scared shitless. Maybe he finds some lonely spot where he throws things around, smashes stuff, screams out his frustration, letting himself collapse against some wall, sits and thinks. ”I have to make this work for everyone. I need a plan.”
I headcanon that Matt works in all kinds of different jobs, like, as a cashier at a GameStop, at Walmart, Starbucks, maybe even something like an IT guy or a software developer at small tech companies … just some stuff on the side while Mello is doing “the more important stuff” - they’re still working towards the whole “catch Kira”-mission after all. Mello sometimes stops by at wherever Matt works at the moment and sees him interacting with female coworkers or trying to unsuccessfully flirt with customers. Especially when Mello starts crushing on Matt, seeing this play out makes him feel like throwing up. It’s one of the tell tale signs for him to realise he feels more for Matt than friendship. I can see him downright interrogating Matt about who his regular contacts are, all under the pretense that they “mustn’t lose cover, can’t reveal their identity” and he pressures Matt into not getting too close to anyone.
I can see this play the other way around too though, when Matt is crushing on Mello. Mello showing up at Matts workplace, with a biker look, you know, cool ass leather jacket, sunglasses, helmet under one arm, looking SLEEK AS FUCK, only thing missing are the guitar riffs playing in the background as he enters the store. He asks the girl behind the counter if Matt is here and without taking her eyes off Mello shouts a
“MAAAAATT-”
“huh?!”
“THERE’S SOMEONE HERE FOR YOU”
Matt comes stumbling out from some backrooms and has the widest smile when he sees who’s here. The girl watches them outside through a window talking, eyeing Mello respectfully. Matt comes back in and she goes
“Matt, who was that??”
“My roommate - why?”
“OOHH Is he taken?”
“Uhm, I don’t think so…?”
“Nice. Can you, like, invite me over sometime??”
“What, why??”
“That guy is HOT.”
And Matt feels the jealously well up and his mind starts racing, picturing Mello with this girl in various situations and him being the miserable third wheel. The girl notices Matts reserved reaction and goes “OH WAIT, NO- YOUR “ROOMMATE”?? Are you two…?”
“NO NO It’s not like that! We’re just- just friends…”
Matt’s heart stings at that last sentence.