2009, 19 y/o
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/34xgGrbdRLaUuyQLC0H6xO?si=f8272d93ee6c4d18
AKA Matt, m, Matthew Parker, Mattholomew, Mattie, Milo, sweaty gamer boy
TESTED IQ 151 (8 y/o; likely higher because he was unconcentrated due to untreated ADHD, his test was a catastrophe) 160 (max for a regular test; _ y/o for Mensa)
SEX & GENDER Male (he)
SEXUALITY Bi
HEIGHT 181 cm
WEIGHT 95 kg
NATIONALITY British
LANGUAGES English (native), German (basic), Russian (mostly read), Japanese
DOB *** 01.02.1990**
DOD
† 26.01.2010 (19 y/o)
🖼️ Toyhouse
:atrea-logo: Atrea
⚔️ Art Fight
Miles “Matt” Jones, born Jeevas, is a highly gifted but wildly disorganized kid from Wammy’s House, raised by his single dad and plagued by ADHD. A tech-savvy genius with an insatiable curiosity, he picks up new skills effortlessly.
“When the fuck did you learn this?” “… uhh last night?”
Mello’s best (and only) true friend since childhood. Matt becomes his last anchor when everything else crumbles after shit hits the fan.
Lefthanded
Becomes member of Mensa later
Wears glasses instead of goggles. Has -4 diopters. He gets himself some goggles in L.A. because he thinks they’re cool and sometimes uses them when he’s tinkering but he isn’t exclusively wearing them since he needs glasses to see. He wears them around his neck sometimes. Glasses reference: https://sketchfab.com/3d-models/glasses-sun-glasses-free-229dcc6df0404aa7a30083b12bf3a85e
Stripes are his design trademark. A girl once complimented him on his striped T-Shirt as a kid. He almost exclusively wore stripes ever since.
Has inattentive type ADHD. Matts head is full of chaos. He‘s struggling enormously to concentrate on any task that‘s not bringing him some form of enjoyment. He has hyperfixations and stims a lot to concentrate better. Matts stims can be really annoying, holy shit. Tapping fingers, clicking pens, cracking knuckles, wiggling his legs, excessive blinking. He has "idle animations“. Imagine it like other people are just standing there, still, both feet on the ground, and for Matt it‘s softly swaying from one leg to the other. Or rocking back and forth on his chair. Can drive you crazy watching it.
Scared of dogs. Was bitten by one as a kid.
Matt has body image issues and is incredibly insecure about his weight. He was a little shy at Wammy’s, he didn’t really care when he hit puberty because he was kinda growing into it and then it got worse again with ~17 years, as he was depressed a lot, overate and didn’t move much. In 2.1 it’s even worse, because he’s trying to appeal to Mello and for him it feels like Mello is making a sacrifice. He might like him for his personality or something but no way in hell would he ever like his body (Matt’s thoughts).
Mello has never been the guy to insult people for their looks - he doesn’t really care. He absolutely finds enough reasons to insult people that are not looks based. So he never ragged Matt with comments on his weight etc. Not once in his life has Mello ever made an unprompted comment about how Matt could lose some weight etc.
Generally, Mello is doing a fantastic job on making Matt feel good about himself. It’s small things he does. At gym class, Matt was always picked first in Mello’s team.
In the pining phase, Mello one time made the big mistake to comment on how Matt should please put a shirt on when he’s coming out of the shower with Matt interpreting this as “he thinks I’m ugly :(” when in reality, Mello couldn’t deal with being aroused by a shirtless Matt.
Matt is trying to lose weight several times, with Mello’s comment lingering in the back of his head all the time, but not in a healthy way. Like, he just refuses to eat sometimes. Mello notices and makes sure Matt eats and doesn’t starve himself when he’s feeling down.
“Do you wanna get indian tonight?”
”Yeah no I’m good.”
”You sure?”
”Yeah, just get something for yourself.”
”…are you sick?”
”Huh? No I’m just not hungry.”
Matts somach growls loudly. ”… when’s the last time you’ve eaten something?”
”Uuuhhh…”
”Bullshit. I’m gonna order for you and you’re gonna eat that, dipshit.”
Early relationship, Matt needs the lights to be off during sexytime. Lights on? “Can I keep my T-Shirt on?”
After they’re done, he’s the one to pull the blankets over him asap, no matter the temperatures. “I wanted to spare you the sight of me :/” “????????? bitch what??”
No more swimming in the ocean topless
No mirrors
When lounging, Mello likes squeezing whatever of Matt he can grab. I can see mello loving matts little tummy and always got his hands kinda squishing around (stim toy you get me) and matts just like oh god he thinks I’m fat stop touching it I know I’m fat you don’t have to keep touching there. Meanwhile mello is just watching tv (like smthn silly like friends) and is just wow Ross sucks
Even a while into the relationship, Matt is not confident enough to ride Mello or to do anything that’s not them being pressed together.
Body conscious Matt would get drunk and confident and decide to ride mello and mello would be like oh shit oh fuck oh no he’s too hot I gotta calm down or else— Drunk Matt is loose, giggling, mumbling things that would normally send him spiraling.“You feel so good inside me… fuck… you can fill me up, can’t you?” Mello (half laughing, half dying): “Christ, Matt-” And Mello’s getting more sober by the second bc he has to take all the pictures w his mind Matt waking up like did we fuck? And Mello’s like yeah but it was chill don’t worry You just wanted to bottom for a change And meanwhile mello is just playing last night in his head over and over
Once they’re both comfortable enough for a small amount of dirty talk (that takes a while), Mello absolutely tries to compliment and praise Matt, making Matt feel absolutely despicable. Things like “you look so good” “you’re so hot” “man you’re gorgeous” all the you are or you look statements. Maybe even stuff like “let me see your ass”. Matt lets this happen a couple of times and just tries to ignore the comments and to hide his hurting until he bursts out a
Mello smiling looking at Matt casually walking around the flat in just his boxers, feeling honoured that Matt is finally feeling comfortable enough to be himself around Mello
Caffeine calms him down. Started drinking coffee and black tea as a kid.
Matt has no verbal filter whatsoever. He says the first thing that comes to his mind, regardless if it‘s rude or inappropriate. His comments can be quite hurtful but he rarely means what he says in a hurtful way and often doesn‘t understand when people feel attacked. "I‘m just sayin‘..." is his phrase. He‘s cheeky, sarcastic and in-your-face. Needless to say, he doesn‘t have many friends. Ironically, Matt lies about himself a lot to hide his insecurities and fears. "Pfff yeah, I totally don‘t care at aaalllll...." (he cares). He has a dry and sarcastic sense of humour and shoots out jokes so witty, nobody laughs because they didn’t get it. He can get a laugh out of Mello regularly but the typical reactions from others to his jokes are either awkward silence or a heavy cringing moans "By god, Matt… just shut uuuuup…".
Mello zu Matt: “Dein roter Faden ist ein Teller Spaghetti”
Despite how laid back and goofy he is, he’s quite introverted and barely talks to people. Matt likes being alone in his own little microcosm and hates being the center of attention. His social anxiety kicks hard in large crowds of people. Usually Mello has to be the one to drag him outside. He has some depressive episodes every now and then. Matt thinks Mello is cool and consideres him to be his best friend. He finds everything about Mello endearing and fun, despite, or rather because of Mellos antics. They’ve both found a peer in each other, who not only can hold up with the others cognitive skills but laugh about the same stupid jokes. They’re totally vibin’. Though, Matt often wonders if Mello actually cares about him as a friend, or just hates him. It’s the Anxiety™. Eerily, Matt starts smiling when bad things are happening. Not because he’s sadistic, there’s just some faulty wiring in his brain that makes him smile at disaster, like a hyena is giggling when agitated.
Matt ‘s a car guy. Und, wie’s halt seine Art ist, zerlegt jedes Auto, das er ne Weile fährt und schaut sich genau an, wie das funktioniert. Der versteht auch alles 100%, kennt aber die Begriffe für die einzelnen Teile nicht. Irgendwann schwätzt der mit nem Autohändler oder so Auto-Mechaniker wat weiß ich und Matt macht die Motorhaube auf und meint irgendwas a la “Das -sehr-spezifische-Beschreibung-der-Mechanik-die-dieses-spezielle-Teil-hat-aber-nicht-der-richtige-Begriff-dafür-ist- macht im Moment Probleme, …” “…….meinst du den -tatsächliche-Beschreibung-vom-Bauteil-…?” “Äh ja genau, der.” Der hat sich seinen Chevy auch bewusst ausgesucht, weils COOL IST OKAY. American muscle car.
Can solve a Rubic’s Cube like he never did anything else in his life. He never learned algorithms, he just solves it.
Matt’s daydreams: https://9gag.com/gag/a5Qrm5G
https://www.tumblr.com/riddle-in-time/745415354489176064/sometimes-i-think-about-how-matt-didn-t-get-killed?source=share
Mello hat nen gaydar, Matt nicht. Matt wird auch manchmal von Mädels angebaggert und er checkts nicht. Oder besser: ein Mädel fragt ihn “Hey wer ist dein heißer Kumpel da drüben, wie heißt der? ;)))” und Matt steigt voll ein “mmh yeah, he’s a hottie right ;)))” “Ohhh du bist vom anderen Ufer, hm?” “Ja, aus England, woher weißt du das? :)”
Matt sieht mal in nem Laden irgendein Schwert oder ne Machete oder irgendne scharfe große Waffe halt und steht mit leuchtenden Augen vorm Schaufenster und meint “das hol ich mir” und Mello guckt ihn schräg an und meint nur “ja aber bro was machst du denn dann damit??” “…….sssstuff” “Mhm” Und Matt holt sich das Ding und weil er das Gefühl hat, sich vor Mello zu rechtfertigen, benutzt er das Teil für allen möglichen Scheiß. Brot schmieren, Steak schneiden, Haare schneiden, rasieren (da greift Mello spätestens ein “NEIN DU HÄLTST DIR DAS DING NICHT AN DIE KEHLE”)
Matt hat mal Mett gegessen. Einfach nur weils witzig ist. In Beverly Hills gibt’s die “European Deluxe Sausage Kitchen” - sowas in der Art. Matt läuft irgendwo rum und sieht ein Schild mit fett Mettbrötchen drauf und er lacht sich ein bis zwei, geht rein und bestellt sich das. Und er ist ULTRA skeptisch, der Verkäufer berät ihn noch von wegen “Willste Zwiebeln drauf?” “Öh jo??” “Und mach Salz und Pfeffer drauf, richtig legger” “ok I guess?”
Matt hat schlimm schlucken müssen als Onkel Ben im Tobey-Spider-Man (2002 rausgekommen, Matt hat den aber später erst gesehen) gestorben ist, bzw. als Ben im Auto versucht hat, mit Peter zu sprechen und Peter ihn nur angeschnauzt hat. Cause oh boy, did he see himself and his dad there…
Does Matt ever have bad days? If so how would Mello try to help him feel better? matt doesn't let mello in when he's having bad days. matt doesn't want to be a burden. so mello would do nothing, as he wouldn't even know. gets better post canon but it takes time. mello doesn’t know what the fuck to do it’s usually Matt holding him together not the other way around. So he tries stereotypical things he’s seen in movies. Makes breakfast, tries to seduce him, rubs his back and you know Matt is just -_- bc it all feels so fake and eventually he just kinda puts his head in mellos lap and puts mellos hand in his hair. And mello just plays with his hair until Matt relaxes enough to speak
Matt has had occasional panic attacks and depressive episodes since he was a kid. They didn’t got rarer as he grew up, he just learned to deal with them.
Post-canon, Matt deals with PTSD, especially connected to the raid/explosion night. He throws up at smelling indian food and burnt meat in the first couple years after the explosion. Not quite as bad as Mello but still.
Matt has occasional panic attacks. It usually starts with him getting quiet and “grumpy”, his heart starts racing, he starts trembling, hyperventilating, tears are welling up, it’s hard to breathe. They often come seemingly randomly and it’s hard to understand what triggered Matt. One way to cope for him was to scream, he often did this as a kid but it only lead to more problems and unwanted attention. Nobody tolerates a kid screaming nonstop for seemingly no reason for long. In his first year at Wammy’s he screamed into his pillow but the kids nextdoor heard it nonetheless and told the supervisors, which lead to some uncomfortable talks. Before Mello came to Wammy’s, Matt shut down almost completely. Nobody could get through to him.
The first time Mello witnessed one of Matts panic attacks, he didn’t really understand what was happening. And Matt couldn’t explain it to him either - he was just so embarrassed about it. It was probably mid-conversation and Matt tried so hard to keep himself together when he felt the panic swell up and in Mellos eyes he just started to get grumpier and grumpier and he thinks Matt is getting angry with him. “(…) but when you take, … dude what’s with you? Am I annoying you??” “No it’s just — “ “…are you crying?” and Matt breaks down and flees.
Mello fragt ihn 100%ig “Yo, what was that earlier??” und Matt antwortet nur ausweichend oder sogar abwertend “I just couldn’t stand your rambing anymore haha” und Mello fühlt sich super angegriffen.
Später passiert das wieder, in Mellos Augen immer zu super zufälligen Zeitpunkten, aber es gibt eigentlich immer nen Auslöser. Matt flieht, zieht sich zurück und sitzt das so gut es geht aus. Aber Mello versteht es einfach nicht und das macht ihn fuchsig. Einmal folgt Mello Matt, wenns wieder soweit ist und findet ihn irgendwo in irgendner Kammer oder so oder in nem Schrank, im Klo, …
”Hey man, what are you doing in there?” “PISS OFF MELLO” ”Why are you so upset??” ”I SAID PISS OFF” ”Not until you tell me what’s going on!” ”THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” ”IT IS MY BUSINESS IF YOU START GETTING ANGRY AT ME OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE”
Entweder recherchiert Mello selbst oder er bekommts von irgendeinem Lehrer/Betreuer oder so mit, was ne Panikattacke ist und was man dagegen machen kann. Ich kann mir sogar vorstellen, dass er explizit einen Betreuer wegen Matt fragt und der gibt ihm sogar Auskunft.
“What did you wanna talk about, Mello?” ”It’s about Matt. He gets angry sometimes and storms off and I can’t seem to find a pattern when it’s about to happen.” ”Oh, is he still having panic attacks? I thought they stopped once you moved in with him.” ”Panic attacks?” ”Mhm, they can happen to everyone once in a while. It’s when all of a sudden you feel a growing sense of seemingly random anxiety and panic rise and you can’t really do anything about it but let it pass. Sometimes there’s a specific trigger but sometimes it comes randomly.” ”And there’s nothing he can do about it? No medication or anything he can take? Because it’s pissing me off a lot.” ”Not really, no. If it’s pissing you off, imagine what Matt must be feeling. Be a little softer on him if you can, Mello. He’s probably afraid he’ll lose you as a friend. Don’t make him pay for something he has little to no control over.” ”… and what should I do when it happens again?” ”If he lets you be near him, try to offer him company and try to distract him. If he don’t, just let him be and try to act normal when you see each other again. If he’s hyperventilating, you could try to take some deep breaths with him, so he calms down easier. Remind him, that things are okay, the world is not ending, you’ll still be his friend after this. Try to get him back to reality. Most people feel like their world is crumbling below their feet when they’re in the middle of a panic attack and they’re freefalling into an abyss of hopelessness.”
Er sagt Matt nix von dem Gespräch, behandelt ihn aber etwas sanfter mit den neuen Infos.
Einmal passiert das sogar im Unterricht und Mello bemerkt sofort, dass was nicht stimmt - Matt starrt Zähne aufeinandergebissen gradeaus, Fäuste geballt, Augen voller Wasser. Und er schaltet sofort, geht zum Lehrer und meint, ob er mit Matt kurz raus kann, dem geht’s nicht gut. Vielleicht erfindet er auch irgendne Ausrede für ihn. Und er geht mit ihm irgendwo hin, wos geschützt ist, stellt gar keine Fragen und meint nur “come on, we’ll take some deep breaths together. Deep breath in — and out — see?” und es funktioniert. Matt lässt Mello sich helfen.
Später in LA hat Matt immer noch ab und zu Panikattacken, aber er versucht sie so gut es geht vor Mello zu verstecken. Einmal ist er den ganzen Tag grantig und irgendwann bricht es aus, als Mello mit ihm Konversation über irgendwas macht und Matt fängt an zu zittern und schnell zu atmen und meint nur “I gotta get out of here—” “—huh???” und verlässt zügig die Wohnung. Er ist ne ganze Weile weg, bis er sich einigermaßen gefangen hat. Er erwartet, dass Mello ihm ne Szene macht, weil er so mir nichts dir nichts abgehauen ist und er stellt sich schon auf Schelte ein; hat richtig Schiss, dass er sich erklären muss. Und er kommt heim und Mello ist super chill und freundlich, als wär nie was gewesen. Vielleicht kommt nur ein “Feel better? “Yeah”.
Einmal in LA ist Mello aber bei ihm, als es passiert. Vielleicht in einer Situation, in der Matt auf keinen Fall wegrennen kann. Die sind auf der Flucht, müssen sich verstecken, vielleicht sind sie auch einfach nur inner Menschenmenge, aus der sie grade nicht raus können.
”Matt, breathe. Deep breath in, deep breath out, remember? Do it with me. Deep breath in — deep breath out —.”
Der macht mit Matt auch die 54321-Übung. See 5 things, hear 4 things, feel 3 things, smell 2 things, taste 1 thing.
“Just look at me, ignore the others. I’m here. And I’ll still be here in a few minutes.
Eine von Mellos großen Stärken ist, dass er nicht verurteilend ist. Matts Panikattacken und generell seine depressiven Phasen sind manchmal recht schwer zu ertragen, aber Mello dreht ihm nie einen Strick draus. Und wenn Matt zum ungünstigsten Zeitpunkt ne Panikattacke hat und aufm Boden im Matsch hockt, dann setzt sich Mello zu ihm in den Matsch und bleibt solange wie nötig bei ihm. No questions asked. No judging.