There was an incident when Mello brought knives to school - he didn’t want to hurt anybody, he just liked them so he brought them with him - and got in trouble for it. When questioned about it he thoughtlessly said something along the lines of “If you think those are bad, you don’t want to know what I have at home.” and the school took this statement so seriously that they had child protective services come to the Keehls home with a search warrant. Not only did they find more knives and even a real but empty gun (wherever he got his hands on it, nobody knows???) but heaps upon heaps of plans. Meticulously planned to the last detail what you could describe as conspiracy theories, plans to overthrow the government of Nicaragua, sci-fi shortstories with a self written encyclopedia, stolen books, construction sketches of a rocket,… - most of it written in crayon. The contents of some of his plans were alarming but it was all so absolutely flawlessly conctructed.
The neighborhood cool kids always met at an old WW2 bunker in the nearby woods and Mello tried to befriend them one time in his holidays. Mello, with his insufferable bossy attitude, straight up wanted to reinact historically accurate war crimes for fun while the kids there just wanted to roleplay a little. And they parted with a "See you tomorrow! same time, same place!“ but nobody showed up the next day. How sad :(
1997
A really small, insignificant, oddly specific and silly headcanon I have is that when Mello was a kid (~7 y/o), the Keehls went on a vacation to Croatia to be on a relative’s wedding (really small Croatian wedding with only the closest relatives, so about 300-400 people). The little kids got offered heavy booze, Ivanka tried to matchmake Jakov and Mello with some cousins (what the fuck, Ivanka??) and Mello was offered to drive a car with an uncle (who is a driving instructor) to do some errands.
“C’mon, here are the keys-” “But I can’t drive???” “Hmm right… then we’ll take one of the tuition cars.”
He let Mello drive over an hour over the highways with him barely reaching the pedals, waving at police cars as they passed by.
Mello shares some of the family stories with Matt over the years. Matt is always listening amused but thinking Mello is making some stuff up to be more entertaining. Later in LA, Matt keeps stalling the first car they stole with Mello on the passengers seat giving instructions but Matt still failing to get the car driving until they switch seats and Mello gets the thing going like it’s nothing.
“Huh-how-what-why can you just drive a car??” “I told you I have experience already. Back in Croatia, remember that story with the wedding and the driving instructor?” “Wait… you DIDN’T MAKE THAT ONE UP??” “Huh, no…?” “The fuck.” “You think I’m telling you lies…?” “I mean… Let’s say I always thought you’re stretching the truth out to a maximum for comedic effect.” “…cause you do that?” “… yeah.” “Interesting :/”
Miles was enrolled super early and has been to about 8 different schools before he came to Wammy’s because he was displaying behavioural problems. He was loud, annoying, disrespectful, destroyed things, flipped tables because he felt underchallenged, lost and like nobody understood him. They were sitting at the principals office one time and the principal said something like
“This behaviour is very problematic!” and Miles shoots out promptly “Your fat ass is very problematic-” “MILES” “-sir!” “He didn’t mean it, I’m so sorry-” “It’s true though! Lose some weight or you’ll die of a heart attack!” “MILES STOP”
Chris always took Miles side though and made up reasons why the old school sucked and how it’s not Miles fault. “You’re way too smart for this school anyways, Miles. We’ll find you something better HAHA” And this went on for years until an overly engaged social worker overhears Miles talking about switching schools again and asks around at the schools in the area. Shocked, the social worker reports everything to the education authorities and as a result Miles is to be sent to a school for educational assistance. And this is the worst school you’ve ever seen: Graffitti everywhere, digusting bathrooms, kicked in doors, the students look like drug dealers and the whole staff looks like they buy from them. It’s completely unhinged. And poor Chris and Miles sit there in this office and they thought it’s just an obligatory interview and all the sudden they want to get straight to registration and want to take Miles’ fingerprints and take friggin mugshots and Chris just bolts outta there with Miles excusing them for needing the toilet. And they sit in the car and Miles asks
“Uhh dad, I think we weren’t done there?” “No, Miles. We were absolutely done there.”
Chris is a desperate mess, for he has no clue what to do with Miles next. There’s no way in hell Miles is going to this messed up school but he can’t keep putting him in regular schools either. And Chris wants to keep it from Miles that they’re up in shit’s creek and sets up a fake smile but Miles notices his dad being more depressed than usual and he blames himself for it asking himself what he did wrong. That evening, Chris tries to drown his sorrows in alcohol at a bar and opens his heart to a friend (or stranger - doesn’t matter at this point) crying about how “the boy can’t go any public school and I can’t afford a private school and his grades are so terrible that nobody would even take Miles anyways, he never made any friends in any of the schools, his mom ran off, he’s a smart kid but he keeps getting into trouble and I just don’t know what to do anymore —” And the guy listening goes “I heard there’s a boarding school in Winchester that takes difficult kids, maybe you wanna look into that one” and he writes down a scriggly “Whammy house Winchester” on a napkin for Chris. Back home, Miles finds Chris sleeping with his face on the kitchen table, just wearing a flanel shirt and boxers (Chris usually sleeps on the couch in front of the TV running infomercials) and he kinda knows this is because he messed up. The next days, Chris takes Miles with him to work. He can’t afford a nanny and can’t leave Miles all alone at home either. And he tries so hard to keep up a smile for Miles when he just wants to break down crying. He remembers the school for difficult children from the napkin and does a little research. Turns out, Wammy’s is a school for highly gifted children, so Miles can’t go there either. One day, a letter from the tax office arrives: they want payment of tax arrears - money Chris doesn’t have. And he leaves Miles at home that day, saying he can play video games as long as he wants; he’ll be back in the evening. But Miles is bored and he starts looking around the flat for things to do and finds the letter from the tax office. When Chris comes home, this happens: